Relationship Problems | Romance Is Everything. Rediscover The Joy Of Playtime

Why Your Family of Origin Still Controls Your Emotions (and What to Do About It)

Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT — Fri, 27 Feb 2026 10:24:43 +0000

It’s a common assumption that once we move out, build a career, or start our own families, we have finally “grown up” and left the past behind. Yet, for many, an unexpected comment from a partner or a specific tone of voice from a friend or co-worker can instantly transport them back to the feeling of being a vulnerable child. The family of origin impact is like an invisible “emotional GPS” that…

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What to Do If We Bicker Too Much

Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT — Thu, 25 Sep 2025 08:05:13 +0000

It’s normal for couples to have disagreements, but when small arguments become constant, they can drain intimacy and joy. Many people wonder, what do do if we bicker too much—especially when it seems like every little issue sparks conflict. As much as light bantering coming from a playful place can be a relationship strength, tipping over into this other place can be a problem.

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Deconstructing Bickering in Relationships

Richard Nicastro, PhD — Wed, 09 Jul 2025 06:21:27 +0000

Richard Nicastro, PhD examines why couples fight and proposes that bickering isn’t always the way it seems. Though bickering can clearly be problematic, he proposes the possibility that sometimes it might be fun. “You missed the exit.” “Did not.” “Did too.” “Do you want to drive?” “That’s not fair. You know I don’t have my prescription glasses with me.” “Like you would’ve done any…

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Ask Lisa : Lack of Emotional Safety in My Relationship

Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT — Tue, 24 Jun 2025 03:44:11 +0000

A woman shares her concern about the lack of emotional safety in her relationship and her challenge with getting him to understand what she needs from him. The Question to Lisa “I read your article on emotional safety, and it seems to be lacking in my recent relationship. I had been dating a guy on […]

The Under-the-Radar Relationship Killer

Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT — Mon, 23 Jun 2025 03:35:00 +0000

Sometimes the biggest relationship problems are not the loudest. Be most concerned about the issues that go unspoken, especially if conflict avoidance is normal for both partners. Relationship researchers are integral to raising awareness about the harmful behaviors that couples can do to each other, either intentionally or more often, not realizing the damage done. For example…

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Limerence vs. Love in Long-Distance Relationships

Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT — Tue, 28 Jan 2025 15:50:27 +0000

Most people have felt that rush of intense emotion when first attracted to someone: the butterflies, the obsessive thoughts, the constant yearning. Long-distance relationships can be a breeding ground for intense emotions, and the distinction between limerence and love is important to have awareness of with the intensified aspect of longing. Is this whirlwind of feelings truly love…

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Help for High-Conflict Couples

Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT — Sat, 20 Jan 2024 20:57:47 +0000

Having a healthy, loving and connected relationship is one of the most rewarding experiences. Couples often start out in a good place and can’t imagine things going awry. The biologically necessary attachment bonding chemical process (the “honeymoon” phase) that connects people can also shield each other from what might become cracks in the relationship later. Ideally, when you settle in…

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Is Your Relationship in Red Alert?

Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT — Thu, 29 Jun 2023 01:59:16 +0000

The most dangerous relationship threat isn’t always what is the most visible, like a pattern of high conflict or obvious lack of kindness or disrespect. Those are clearly problematic signs that need attention but the behaviors within a couple that are the least detectable on the surface create a significant vulnerability in the relationship. Their emotional safety levels have taken a hit.

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10 Signs You Don’t Fight Fair in Your Relationship

Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT — Tue, 20 Sep 2022 02:04:02 +0000

Conflict is a part of life and relationships. Though having less conflict is a good thing, having no conflict ever is not a realistic goal. The question is whether you and your partner are behaving in ways that will encourage you to successfully navigate through to the other side. An important part of this is having enough self awareness to be willing to hold a mirror up to yourself and own…

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The Most Important Aspect of Affair Recovery

Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT — Wed, 10 Aug 2022 19:21:28 +0000

The emotional backlash of an affair on the partner who was cheated on can be earth shattering. Whether there was suspicion of this happening leading up to the discovery or not, it all leads to a spectrum of emotions including shock, anger, grief and loss. It can feel like the relationship has been dumped upside down with the contents shaken all over the ground. But if both partners are open to…

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